Wanted! Blonde Jokes & Stories!

I would love to hear about some "blonde moments" you or someone you know have been so lucky to experience!
This is just for fun so why not? Do you have a good joke or a funny story? Please lets hear about them! Because, without all those blonde moments life would be so dull! It's okay to laugh at yourself! Heck, I do it on a daily basis!

(You can leave a comment and be totally anonymous!)

Premiere Post on Undercover Blonde

I am so honored to be part of a fellow blonde's new addition to her blog!

Undercover Blonde

(Miss Kitty Boston)

Introducing her new "BLONDE DISPATCHES", this will be guest posts written by other women on blondeness, tackling this tenet of the American female beauty myth from various angles.What follows is a the premiere post from her very first blonde correspondent, which would be mine. Please read, comment, & enjoy! Just click here:
Are You a True Blonde?

Ahh....The Simple Things Make Me Grin

I have a few favorite shows that I look forward to watching during the week. Ghost Hunters, Paranormal State, and, I Love money. I just wish that there was a better selection of shows especially on the weekends. You would think there would be a good movie on during this time because, people are usually home over the weekend hanging out. I would rather watch a scary movie or comedy, instead of a stint of old Seinfield re-runs. At least the credit report commercial makes me laugh. I actually laughed my head off about that singing bunny attacked bit a guy, who trades him for the skittles. Don't ask me why but, the simple things, things that other people don't see the humor in, is what makes me throw my head back in laughter.

I Call It a Tune-Up!

I don't keep it a secret that I have been surgically enhanced. Meaning that I have some work done. Not, that I am so vein that I grimace every time I see a new wrinkle or line on my face. I have just gone under the knife to put things back where they are so suppose to be. After having my two kids, my chest rather deflated and, were saying hello to my belly button! I wasn't to happy about that so, i decided to have them fixed. I have always been rather chesty my whole life and, when you go from a D to a flat balloon size of A, it can be rather shocking. Especially, when your daughter at the age of six says something to the effect of why are your boobs hanging down like that? LOL...
I seem to have inherited something called bags under my eyes as well. Not the usual puffiness that people can get from not enough sleep, but, something you could pack your whole closet into. I was looking older than I felt, and, I didn't like it that people always told me I looked so tired or sad all the time. So, about six months ago I had my eyes done. This was rather funny to me because, I looked liked I had been beat up with a baseball bat afterwords. I wasn't prepared what I saw when I looked into the mirror after that one! Ha! But, that said, I am always willing to talk about my experiences with plastic surgery. Its a big decision, a personal one at that. As things fall apart as I age, I would rather have a tune up! I'm not talking outrageous changes like butt implants, or anything. I am all for anyone who decides that it is time to have a little work done. I don't mind talking about it, and, giving any advice to anyone who needs it. So, tomorrow I am having surgery once again but, not for cosmetic reasons, but, for tennis elbow or, lateral epicondylitis. Not, that I play tennis, but, because I seem to be the one on my side of the family that everything just keeps falling apart! I think I mentioned it before, but, I am the accident proned one, making this like my tenth surgery to date!

Shop Till You Drop!

It's time for back to school shopping! Yay! I don't mind shopping with my teen-age daughter and, wandering around aimlessly for hours, carrying her bags of loot. I actually like to watch people as the give us the up and down looks, and, the boys checking her out. I laugh at myself because, I just want to yank out the voice box's of some of the clothing department employees. I think I was told about the sales going on about three different times by the same blonde girl in the same store! I know that this was the last day of sale on the jeans and, that they were $10 off thank you very much! I can read the signs that are hanging everywhere, how can you miss them? We went to about a dozen stores, one for jeans, one for tops, shoes, underwear, scarves, and jewelry. Doesn't it seem that you get caught in the shopping Bermuda Triangle, and, time stands still? When I finally checked my watch we had been shopping for nearly six hours. OMG...no wonder my hair was flat, my feet hurt, my make-up was gone, I had to pee, and, I was broke! It does pay off to spend the time looking for the best deals though. I think she has enough clothes to get her through the first week of school, Ha!

What Kind of Blonde Are You?

The definition of blonde is someone with light colored hair. So, I ask this, if you are a true blonde, does this ultimately determine that you are dumb? What about brunettes that bleach their hair blonde. Does this turn them into a dumb blonde? I would have to say I have met my fair share of dumb brunettes as well as dumb blondes and, I don't think the shade of hair has anything to do with personality. You are who you are. The term dumb blonde must of been retrieved from the big Hollywood blonde bombshell icons. Like Marilyn Monroe, who played the ditsy blonde in a lot of movies. Woman of course followed course and, whether they were dumb or not, acted the part. This has carried it's way over the decades with today's blonde celebrities such as Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, Tera Reid, and, the list goes on...
So, Take this Quiz and, find out what kind of blonde you are!
Click Here: Blonde Quiz

Please Be Kind Rewind!

Now that everyone has successfully upgraded from their VCR's to DVD players, and, traded in all their VHS tapes to DVD's, the switch came easier to some than others. It's not that I had an actual hard time adjusting to our new DVD player but, there were a few small steps that weren't easily forgotten. Learning how to run the DVD player, was just another quick flip through the manual and, learning how to fly through the menu which, I think is pretty cool. No more waiting on the fast forward button to get to that "favorite part" of the movie. The first few times we watched a movie on our new DVD player, my husband kindly asked, "Can you rewind it please?" I reluctantly got up from my comfortable spot on the couch, and, started to look for the rewind button. All I could hear is laughter as, I asked, "where is the button?"
How many times has this happened to you? I will say probably never... but, whether I'm blonde or not, this has happened to me more times than I care to admit.

The OMG UR A PIG Phone!

With all the choices in cell phones these days, it's no wonder it's hard to choose or determine one from another! Advertising has a big part in coming up with clever jingles, and, celebrities to push the latest in this must have technology. I don't know how I made it through my life as a teenager without a cell phone, my space or tivo! When I look back, Pong, space invaders and Pac-Man where the coolest adaptations to a very primal gaming system. That was the closest I ever came to real technology in the eighties. I felt so privileged!

But, now I get lost in this sea of technology and, the only way I really keep up is what I see on these commercials! My daughter wants one of those new LG shine phones and, my response was a total blonde one at that. "Oh!" I Said, the "OMG UR A PIG phone!" You can imagine the look on her face. I wasn't really referring to it as that was what it was actually called. I was thinking of the commercial I saw! The one with Lauren Conrad and, Brody Jenner sitting at an outside cafe, when, two hot girls walked by, Brody was immediately distracted from Lauren's conversation with him. Lauren Conrad catches Brody Jenner checking out the ladies with his AT&T LG Shine! This is what she text him on his bright and shiny phone! That's how I knew what phone she was talking about! So, when it's time to go and buy her the new cell phone, this is what I'm going to ask for! Excuse me, we would like the OMG UR A PIG PHONE in shiny silver please!

AT&T The Hills Commercial

A Dedication to Blondes

What really goes on in a blonde woman's head? Not much at all....is the answer I hear a lot. I have heard all the jokes, laughed at them and, myself! I don't really care what people think or say. I dedicate this blog to all the bright, funny, witty, charming, and intelligent blonde's everywhere! So there! Ha!