Scheduled to go Under the Knife Again!

Well, here I am again, on Monday I have yet another surgery. At this point I'm getting rather anxious because, this isn't a minor one. I cant tell you how I feel about having a few of my organs removed. I guess I'm feeling like it's just a dream and I will wake up with no idea what has happened. There are a few preparations that one needs to perform before certain surgery.
# 1. Colon cleansing. This is where you have to drink a certain concoction that makes empties everything inside you so, if the Dr. accidentally nicks your intestines your less proned to infection and, repairing it is easier. I just think it's pure torture. Once you have gone once, it's like all hell broke loose and, think to yourself, "Thank god, that's over!" But, you know what? It's not. You are not able to be more than ten feet from a toilet for about four or more hours! So, it would be wise to do this in the afternoon because you can not eat anything after your all cleaned out.
# 2. After that is done, you are allowed to only drink clear liquids up to midnight. At this point you may feel delirious, have a head ache, nausea and, have cotton mouth. Your Dr. may be nice enough to give you some for the nausea that will follow you up until you stroll into the surgery room. Otherwise, just be sure to carry that little brown bag along, you know, just in case.
# 3. I experience a lot of anxiety before surgery so, I am prescribed a little pill that takes all my worries away. Which actually converts me into a bit of a giggly school girl. My husband will keep me from running into walls so, always have a good chaperon on your day of surgery. This can be anyone you feel comfortable enough with, just make sure this person has seen you at your worst, throwing up, passing out, and, naked. Basically someone you have gotten shit faced with.
# 4. Hopefully all goes well and you wake up in your room with nurses yelling at you to breath, and wiggle your toes. If you could actually hear them and, can keep your eyes open, and, actually have any control of your bowels, hopefully that catheter doesn't come out.
# 5. After you regain your senses, speech and motor control, they will let you sit up and, maybe even have some ice chips. I was so upset after one of my surgeries because, I couldn't get my lips to work to make words. So, I tried to sign to my husband that I was thirsty. I was so thirsty that it felt like I had been buried alive.
# 6. You may or may not have a catheter. This is a tube that goes up into your bladder so you can pee. The next morning if you stay over night, depending on your case, you have it removed. This is like having a hairbrush ripped from your urethra! Ask the nurse to get some pain medicine before they kindly pull that out! You could bite your lip so hard you may need stitches! (Not really but, close) 6. Now, be nice to your nurses, because these are the people who are giving you your pain meds. And, if they don't like you for some reason or another they will forget about visiting you on their rounds! If you don't stay on top of the pain, it's hard to get it back under control. I woke up crying my eyes out the first night because, for some reason the nurse skipped me when my dose was due! I think I woke up the whole hospital floor at three in the morning! Let's just say nurses talk, and, they can be real bitches! Thank god I was blessed with a very pleasant nurse for the remainder of my stay.
# 7. Hospitals are suppose to be where you get rest and, recover? Not true, you are woke up every few hours for blood pressure, temperature checks, and, pain control. People coming and going in and out of your room at any given time. If you share a room, your roommate may have visitors, watch t.v. talk on the phone or wont shut the f up because, she's so high on drugs! Let's say it will be good to be home and in my own bed to recoup!
Wish me luck!